When my mother passed away, it changed me in ways I never expected. It wasn’t just about losing her; it was the weight of losing both my parents. My father had passed a few years earlier, and while I thought I had worked through that grief, my mother’s passing opened up an entirely new layer of pain. It was as if the loss of my mom brought back the grief I had buried for my dad, making me feel it all over again.
I still vividly remember the conversations my mom and I had about her passing. She spoke to me with such wisdom and care, almost as if she knew I’d need those words to hold onto once she was gone. Those talks were her way of leaving me with something to lean on when the time came.
Now, as I approach the one-year mark since she left this world, I find myself reflecting on what grief has taught me. Not a single day has passed without feeling her absence. It’s like there’s a piece missing in my home, in my thoughts, and in my heart. Grief, for me, has felt like an open wound, one that heals a little, only to crack open again. But through this process, I’ve discovered a deeper resilience within myself.
One of the most beautiful lessons I’ve learned about grief is that it’s really just love persevering. That realization struck me while watching WandaVision, of all things. There’s a line where Vision says, “What is grief, if not love persevering?” That hit me like a ton of bricks because it’s so true. Grief is the other side of love, a continuation of it. You can’t truly understand it until you’ve experienced loss, but when you do, that connection to love becomes crystal clear.
If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve recently lost someone, or perhaps it’s been years, but the grief still lingers. You might even be wondering if it’s normal to feel this way, to still have waves of sadness that catch you off guard. Let me reassure you: it’s normal. It’s okay. Grief comes in waves. One day you might feel fine, and the next, it hits you like it just happened. That’s part of the process. It’s a reflection of the love you continue to carry for the person you lost.
Ways to Move Through Grief
While grief is a deeply personal journey, there are things you can do to help yourself feel more at ease. Here are a few exercises that have worked for me:
1. Move Your Body
I’m a firm believer that grief is an energy that needs to be recycled daily. If it sits too long, it can weigh you down and even show up physically in your body. Movement helps shift that energy. It doesn’t have to be intense; it just needs to match where you are emotionally. If you’re feeling sad, slow, gentle movements like yoga or stretching might feel good. If you’re angry, go for something more intense—run, punch a bag, or swing a Steel Mace.
Your movement should align with your emotions, not fight against them. Grief isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither is the way we process it physically. Meet yourself where you are.
2. Journal Your Feelings
Sometimes, the best way to process grief is to get it out of your head and onto paper. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you make sense of them and give you a safe space to explore your emotions without judgment.
3. Honor Their Memory
Find ways to keep their memory alive. It could be as simple as lighting a candle, creating a photo album, or doing something they loved. For me, talking about my parents and the lessons they’ve taught me has been healing.
4. Practice Gratitude
It might feel hard, but finding moments of gratitude can be a powerful way to shift your perspective. Think about the love and memories you shared with your loved one and hold onto those as a source of comfort.
Grief is hard, but it’s also a testament to the depth of our love. There’s no timeline for healing, and there’s no “wrong” way to grieve. Be patient with yourself, and remember that you’re not alone on this journey. If you’re looking for a supportive space to move your body and process your emotions, check out the SMW Academy Steel Mace Membership. It’s a place where you can explore steel mace movement that aligns with where you are in your journey, and you’ll even find a couple of chapters from the book I’m writing on this very subject.
Take care of yourself. One step, one breath, one moment at a time.
